plan...

He has a plan.
He can be trusted.

Lately King Solomon...
The Wisest man to ever live has been challenging my heart quite deeply.
These words ring especially important in my spirit...

"Know the importance of the season you are in...
And a wise son you will be."
Proverbs 10:5

The question I must ask myself...
Do I trust my God in every season of my life?
I mean... do I really believe He is working BIG...
In the small and unnoticeable moments of my days?
Do I really believe The Creator of The Heavens...

Knows my heart and has a plan for me?

Quite honestly...
I think I have spent many of my seasons...
Waiting for "THE SEASON" to arrive.
You know...
The "DEFINING season..."
The moment when I enter into what I was created for...
When my reality and destiny meet.

As I type this...
I feel sad for these mindsets...
As well as the ways I have improperly stewarded my  moments.

I feel like I am truly seeing for the first time...
How important each season is in regards to transformation.

Oh... how the enemy loves it when...
We believe the lie...
That the simple moments...
The hard moments...
The waiting moments...
Life in the unseen and ordinary places...
Are dormant seasons designed by God...
For us to live in the shadows...

Of what He is doing in a story more powerful...
And more worthy than our own.

I can't believe I have entertained such garbage.

I wonder how many love notes I have missed or overlooked...

Because my heart was preoccupied...

Waiting for something grander?

You must know...
My life is NOT glamorous.
Many days feel really raw and hard.
All too often I have found myself thinking...
"When am I going to do something that REALLY MATTERS?"
I see now... I was not reflecting the heart of a "wise son."

Oh how I long to SEE the value He sees in each of my moments.
I do not want to live in agreement with the lies of the enemy.
His whispers claiming that...
Because my moments "feel" mundane they can't be ministerial.
For in my life...
These are the secret places.
These are my private acts of worship.
This is wisdom.
To be faithful with the big and Smalls in my life.

To accomplish this mission...
To be wise and see the treasure in every season...
I will need supernatural assistance of Trinity proportions.

As a daughter of The King...
He has given me everything I need to have a posture of gratitude.

I can rest in the fact... 
He has a plan!
No task is unseen or insignificant in His eyes.

No matter the season...

There is ALWAYS fruit to be birthed...
Often starting with the smallest seed...
Adding the sweetest adornments...

To our stories.
Bearing sustenance that will surely feed others if we allow.

With truth comes clarity.
Each season...
Is simply that...
A season.
It will come and go like a blink.
And, though many are laced with hardship...
I want to see through the lens of wisdom.

Never forgetting... 

He has a plan.

May I be a woman...

Forever found falling in love with her moments.

bloodlines...

When our Good Pastor started his job in Dayton...

He spent his first year commuting...

While we awaited the sale of our home,

And, dreamt about what the future held.

Weeks at a time were spent...

Far away from each other.

It was during this season...

God was actively doing what He loves to do...

Transforming strangers into family.

Our God is so intentionally good...

Turning this traveling, homeless, needy pastor...

From stranger into son.

Giving him a home in a land unfamiliar...

Expanding his family line. 

When these unlikely stories merged...

A woman was given a son...

And the pastor was adopted into a second family.

It's mind-boggling to me...
To look back and see what The Lord was up to.
How He was lining up blessings in the midst of our struggle.

So often during these times...
We are tempted to be overwhelmed and disillusioned by what is hard...
Instead of being filled with wonder...
With what He is preparing our hands to receive.

I have lived just long enough to know...
That we have critical choices to steward in the midst of the difficult seasons...
Remember His promises and remain open to hope...
Or...
Use our own hands to nail the doors of confident expectation shut.

I have been known to hammer a few doors in my day.

Oh...
It is so much easier to look back from this side of things...
And see what The Kind hand of God...
Was up to all along.

I think that is why we are supposed to live with a "backwards mentality."
Because He works everything for our good...
And, total freedom has already been given...
We are able to live from a victory standpoint regardless of the situation.
We have been freed up from fears that try to keep us "nest bound."
He has given us wings to fly.

It's His blood that changes everything.
EVERYTHING!
Declaring us all family...

Deeming all other bloodlines irrelevant.

Even on the cross...
In His emptiest state...
He was filling voids...
Proving He can be trusted in the darkest times.
In the midst of His deepest moments of anguish...
Jesus lived out the value of family.
Placing His mother's care into the hands of another he deeply loved.
Because, He knew...
We cannot forever be with our beloved biologicals.

Reflecting on the words of King David today...
"In you our Fathers put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.
They cried to you and were saved;
in you they trusted and were NOT disappointed."
Psalm 22

His bloodline gives us sonship.
He is our Good Daddy.
He can be trusted.
He delivers and saves.
He does not disappoint.

family...

The bonds of family are formed and strengthened...

Right in the middle of the ordinary moments.

Moments too easily overlooked and undervalued.

If I am being totally honest...

There are many days..

I feel I'm better suited for making warfare than...

Equipping young warriors.

"Frazzled" is a familiar word I would often use to describe my heart.

Family...

They have the ability to expose us in the most unique ways.

With great precision...

They remove the layers we are comfortable hiding behind.

Empowering greater levels of nakedness.

Some days are playful...

Others feel quite painful...

And, yet... 

Letting those we love "in..."

Letting them see who we really are...

It's in these moments true community flourishes.

It's so important to have people in your life who are for you...

Especially when we aren't really "dressed for success."

Family...

Designed to be a safe place to fail and thrive.

Never intended to be a place of perfection.

Instead, a starting ground for us to grow strong in love and then branch out.

Extending the family tree.

With all my heart...

I want to live love with my game face on.

Right next to those I adore most.
Some days are easier than others.

Everyday...
I grow more and more thankful for The God who never breaks "family ties..."
Due to "bad" behavior.
And, everyday...
I learn more and more...
That family is really...
Just little boys and girls...
Coming together and agreeing... 
That it is safe to fully be yourself...
To learn...
To fail...
To risk...
And to succeed...
Without ever fearing abandonment.
That is the heart of Our Daddy...
Longing for all His smalls to live in true family...
Naked and unashamed.

Still learning.

chooses...

Love chooses...

To actively pursue...

Capturing the greatness in others...

To celebrate those that posses the attributes we dream of having...

Letting admiration...
Become a vehicle...

Towards transformation...
Instead of the transgression...
Insecurities or jealousy might bring.

It's important to choose the company of greatness...
Right in the middle of wanting to hide behind our "smallness."

For it's often during these stretching times...
If we do not shy away...
We are marked and set apart...

For the greater things regarding our own destinies.

I am so thankful for the elder stories in our lives...
Allowing courage to be gleaned from what they have learned...

We do not have to be afraid!
Together we can grip onto truth tools that help us battle the lies...
That our lives are too small to be super.

Sure...
We may not be Batgirl...
Robin...
Or Even Prince George...

But, we are part of The Royal Family.
And, in this family...
It's not about focusing on who I am not...
But, being brave enough...
To choose...
To fix my eyes on who He is me.

Only our God would redeem all of my weaknesses...
By displaying His power and majesty...

Right in the middle of my awkward growing.

And, crazily enough...
Most of the time...
My powers come most alive...
When I choose...
In my struggle...
To empower the story of another.

we...

Several weeks ago one of our nephews was visiting Bud...
A highlight in his life.
When these two get together...
It's nothing short of SUPER.

Super giggling...
Super loving...
Super costumes...
Super happiness...
Super volume...
SUPER CHARGED. 

In the middle of the "super" fest...
We decided to go to our neighborhood park.
The 90 degree weather did not deter these two growing heroes...
From their powerful duties...
Nor the ensembles that accompany such important tasks.

After much running...
Trying to avoid heat exhaustion...
Bud decided to rest a bit.
During his pause...
His cousin asked with the greatest concern...
"Elliott, why are we not saving the day?"

It made my heart chuckle...
It made my mind think.
It encouraged my soul to process...
The precious power and possibilities of "we."

When we join forces with the entourage we so deeply love...

Courageous power emerges...
It's as if NOTHING can stop us...
And NOTHING'S impossible.

Whether we are 5 or 95...
Great joy arises in us all...
When we believe that what we hold in our hands is truly powerful.

Imagine what we could do...
If we really believed that power lies in our very fingertips...
If we lived our lives in childlike faith and wonder.

Together...

We...

Just might have the courage to attempt what we might never try alone.

Like saving the day...
Or perhaps even the world!

weeds...

"Even a tree has more hope!  If it is cut down, it will sprout again, and its new shoots...
Will not fail."
Job 14:7

This has been a "spring" season for our family.

It has been beautiful.

And it has been painfully revealing.

I have become aware...
With all the new blooms...
Of how much pruning needs to be done in my personal story...
And, just how many wild plants still need to be dealt with in my life.

Some days it feels like buckets full.

In the life-long process of "de-weeding,"
I've invited the tender shoots from my own tree...
To learn from my mistakes...

Allowing them to help me...

Dig up that which can so quickly take over...

And prune back that which is overgrown...

A most humbling process.

But, I know...

All that is well tended in me...

Serves to bless them and their future families.

The thought that I am contending not only for my own wellness...
But also for the wellness of my children...
And their children's children...
Gives me EXTRA satisfaction...
As I rip the thorny weed-trees out of the ground.
It's like an act of declaration...
That the weeds in my life will not be passed down...
Into the Gardens of my growing ones.

I HATE weeds.
I love seeing the plans of their roots destroyed.
Maybe because I know...
That the weeding and pruning back...
Have generational benefits.

When our boys died and Charli wrestled to survive...
Control really germinated in me.
I lived in constant fear...
Tragedy had shaken me to my core...
The unknown was like a cloud of darkness that hovered everywhere I turned.
So... the very few things I could "control..."
I clinched my fist around with all my might.
I chose an illusion.
One providing me with a false sense of peace.
Allowing me to focus on the strength of my own legs to stand firm...

Instead of The Gardener.

He wants to pluck all of my illusions...

Dig up all the idols of "safe..."

Expose all lies... all fears... 

By the root...

He wants them tossed in the trash.

He alone is the solution for healthy soil.

I want all the beauty He wants to display through me...

To always point back to The One who planted me.

There's much weeding yet to be done in me.

I am still learning.

The ache of the pull will no doubt be messy...

As the lies and behaviors are uprooted.

And the healthy shoots are trimmed back.

But, I'll keep trusting The Gardener.

And, together... with the help of those who love me...

We'll haul those weeds and clippings off to the trash.

One bucket at a time.

For even this tree...

Has more HOPE and LOVE yet to bloom.

right next to...

Most lives are spent...
Striving... 
Trying to become something great...
Working so hard to earn a title or dollar figure...
We lose sight of truth.
People become a means to an end...
And we forsake the treasure sitting...

Right next to us.

If people and relationships are of utmost importance to God...
They should be the same for us.
I am learning that the best gifts in my life...
Are the ones I keep tripping over when I am looking for something else.

Funny that it normally takes a lifetime to realize...
Just how valuable family is...
Nuclear and extended.

With all the obstacles we face in life...
"Together" is where encouragement happens...
Joy increases.
We are sharpened.
And, where the cheers of another...
Impart the courage we need to plunge deeper...

Into the waters of the unknown.

Truth is...
It is a gift to have a hand to hold...
Just ONE hand can change the very course of our lives.
Especially when legs are shaky...
And the ground feels so slick.

As brothers and sisters...
We are granted a most undeserved honor...
The blessing of breathing words that stir life...
Propelling those right next to us to fly...
To dream their biggest dreams...
Believe the impossible.

Reminding others of things we all too easily forget ourselves... 
That NOTHING is out of reach when God dwells within.

Too many times...
Mostly due to insecurities...
I far undervalued the importance of people in my life.

I gave way to the temptation to hide from those with greater gifts.
Now, this 36 year old baby...
Is learning about relationships...
From the Creator's perspective.

I am learning to celebrate the strengths of others...
They have much to teach...
And I am most hungry to learn.
Surrounding myself with experts in all the areas I fall short...
Honors those right next to me...
Fosters relationship...
And, much to my surprise...

Helps me grow into the woman I am supposed to be.

I need the Holy Spirit in me...
And, I desperately need Him in others.

The unsolicited love and encouragement...
Freely offered by those closest to us...
Are often...
Just the nourishment God designed...
To feed our hungry little souls.

All too often...
We are busy looking for some crazy sign from Heaven...
When the answer is right next to us...
At the grocery...
In class...
In our church...
At our workplace...
In our very homes.

It's crazy to think...
The very person right next to us...
Might just be the very person holding the key to the miracle we so desperately need.