Winter...
Even in all its beautiful, glory...
Snow and ice have covered the ground for months now...
With the accumulated snowfall currently around 35.8 inches...
Almost 3 times the average...
Serves as a constant reminder...
Of just how much power...
I am tempted to give my surrounding circumstances.
When life is sunny and warm...
So I tend to be...
When it's frigid, dark and icy...
Well, you get the point.
When my focus zooms in on my "situations..."
I can quickly lose ability to see clearly.
I start giving my hope away...
Bankrupting my belief systems...
And faith-seeing takes a serious back seat to my emotions.
Leaning on my own understanding...
Is often...
Less than flattering.
Teaching myself to see...
Elevating my mind...
To believe what doesn't "feel" true...
Means a lifetime of practical learning.
One minute...
I'm seeing with such joy filled clarity...
Delighting in all that He is highlighting...
Singing truth...
Over the impossibilities.
The next moment...
Knocked over by the smallest winds of misfortune.
Being a learner is taxing.
Quite honestly, when life "feels" the coldest...
I just want to wrap up...
Crawl back in bed... and hide until a warmer day comes along.
When the minutes and hours are marked with perpetual madness...
I must train my eyes to process differently...
2 Corinthians 10 teaches...
I must lasso every thought that doesn't reflect The heart of God...
And, let His hand help diminish every false view.
Don't misunderstand...
Seeing doesn't mean my hurt vanishes...
My unfavorable situations do not exit in a "poof."
It's simply an opportunity to stir my heart back towards gratitude...
Motioning myself deeper...
Towards the unseen.
Honestly, I have times...
When moments feel so dark...
I have to picture with the eyes of my heart...
That He is holding me... giving me His strength when I have none.
Resting in the FACT...
He who is in charge of my past...
Is holding me in my present...
And, has already celebrated the full grown beauty existing in my future.
He sees...
The beauty I forever strain so hard to see.
In the swirling confusion...
In the tossing tempest...
In the midst of excruciating pain...
And, when His face SEEMS veiled by all the darkness...
I must grasp and hold onto truth.
Amazing what the tiniest amount of light can do...
Especially... on the darkest, winter days.
And, when I am willing...
Right in the midst of raging seas...
To blindly reach for the ever-present anchor lying beneath the surface...
And, operate out of what I profess to believe when it's sunny and calm...
I find myself sheltered in His refuge-truths.
This is truly where I long to be.
May a thankful heart keep me...
Focused...
Firm...
Always reaching for what "feels" out of my grasp.
Because... for me learning more about love...
Even in the midst of "winter..."
Means learning to be more than a "fair weathered friend."
