hunt...

Saturday...
Was a day for seeking.
A day to enter in deeper...
Into the heart of The Father.

A day to remember what it feels like to...

Hunt for treasure...

Like a child.

Retraining my heart to be expectant...

To come alive with exhilaration... 

As I cross over all former lines and barriers.

For great treasures are waiting to be found...

In the midst of the chaos and stampedes of life.

His heart is becoming mine...

And in abiding...

I see just how much...

He fights for...

No treasure to remain untouched.

To Him...

All are golden.

Love is NEVER a spectator sport.

I am still very much...

A learning one...

A princess whose paths are lined...

With love experts.

I am beyond thankful for brothers...

That love the comfort out of me.

After searching for eggs with my smalls...

I was launched into another hunt...

This time... 

The projects.

With drug deals and extreme poverty... marking the streets...

I was not afraid...

But I was broken.

Deeply broken over the lies that are holding God's smalls captive.

Humbled... that God would choose my hands to carry His touch of restoration.

The hunt left me asking...

How many treasures are deeply buried in the grasses that I daily walk by?

How many times have I been too afraid to risk?

How often have I chosen safety and comfort instead of surrendering to love's call?

This Saturday...

A portion of my heart was found...

Sitting on a park bench with a cheap bottle of wine.

In the eyes of Mike...

A homeless, drunk, beloved son of Our King...

I saw the Love of The Father in greater measure.

In the hunt.

I saw the heart of Jesus in the eyes of a brother that sleeps in abandoned houses.

And two worlds collided as our hearts connected...

We feasted on the Love of God.

I offered Him food truth...

He offered me a love encounter.

Yes... my resources are plenty...

But Mike blessed me with something I cannot buy...

A glimpse into the eyes of Jesus.

Oh... how I long for more!

Certain that greater revelation of Him will come...

As love abounds in greater measure...

In the church...

And as we seek to fill our baskets with His treasures that await us in the park.

On the hunt for MORE.

Just one of the MANY joys of being His child.

breathing treatment...

Breathing treatments have become a faithful friend...

To Charli...

And our entire family.

Providing peace in the storms...
When lungs are needy for deeper breaths of life.

It took some learning...
But we have all become thankful and familiar with our restoration friend.

The breathing treatment often reminds me of The Holy Spirit in my life.
When toxicity takes over as I am bombarded by the elements...
And I have grasped false airs that cannot fill...
He gently reminds me...
"Breathe ME in."

Other things may be sweet to the taste...
But they can not fill my soul with the oxygen He offers.
There is no substitute for the role of...
The Helper...
The Comforter...
The Guide...
Revealer...
Intercessor...
The Breath of Life...
Our Friend...
Our Seal.

As Charli's lungs have struggled due to her lung condition...
I am reminded of my own condition...
My own need...
For The Breath of Heaven to fill and expand my capacities.

He is the air I breathe...
His Holy presence living in me.

In order for my lungs to be strong enough...
To offer His song of love...

I need to keep my mouth open...
And remind my heart and mind to breathe in...
Deep.

I don't want The Holy Spirit to just be the breathing treatment in my life...

I want Him to be my very breath of life.

An equal lover and often overlooked member of the trinity...

I ache in the learning with longing...

To be FULLY yielded.

Praying and singing EVERYDAY...

"Holy Spirit come...

Holy Spirit rest in this place...

Teach us how to be one with You."

-Kim Walker-Smith

Oh that it were just as easy as putting a breathing treatment to my lips...

And yet...

Perhaps it's not always as hard as I think?

calling...

When the invitation to love...

Comes a calling...

My flesh often wants to send a busy signal.

I've been reminded lately...
As I long to be a warrior of love.
In His-story...
I am most often equipped...
Not through actions flowing from feelings...
But, through faith's fierce choice.

Wearing so many different hats...
It can feel inconvenient to pause...
To sit and share out of our story.

Of course...

We all enjoy the love gifts that...

Unexpectedly show up on our doorstep.

Love that...

Is organically grown and...

Spontaneously overflows.

Love that requires no choosing... but simply is.

However, I am finding in the love learning...

Most often...
Love comes with a price tag.
Shouts bombard from every area of the stock market.
Shares being sold...
In the moments I honestly feel...
I have no resources with which to buy.
Thankful for truth...
I live in God's economy... NOT Kelly's.
I have TOTAL ACCESS to His RICHES...
They never run out.

I've been asking the Father...
For quite sometime...
To help me see.
That I might...
Have revelation eyes...
Live in awareness of the intense hunger consuming needy hearts.

I want to be a lover from faith...

Not just an offerer from feeling.

By Faith...

I am putting the phone back on the hook...

Desiring total transformation!

May I be a woman answering the calling before it comes.

a new war...

In my heart... 

And in the hearts of most...

A battle rages.

A civil war...

One body...

Divided between...

The call of The Spirit to be still...

And... The fight of our flesh to work and earn.

How do we...

Become more like Him...

Walk deeper into our destiny...

With a posture of receiving instead of striving?

This is and continues to be another great learning assignment on my life.

One requiring many...

Divinely appointed advisors to teach and speak truth.

As the colors of my heart have often stood divided.

A new war is being waged against my slavery mindset...

A new battle plan is being put in place.

Busyness I have mastered with pizazz...

Silence and soaking in Him...

Unfortunately still lies in infancy.

With new growth taking place.

This much I know without doubt...

In order to fully love...

I must see through His lens...

This... a direct result of simply being with him.

How is this such a reoccurring struggle for me?

With the help of The Holy Spirit... 

I must choose to carve out space...

Allowing complete silence to rule over the busyness in my brain...

And my home.

Encounter the truth words from His lips...

Receive the love whispers He is forever singing over me.

My whole life...

I have spent in the bondage of becoming...

Instead of seeing myself the way He sees...

A celebrated masterpiece...

A daughter... FREE.

I was reminded again...

Just last night...

His greatest longing for me...

Has NOTHING to do with what I can do for Him...

He simply wants to be with me.

He does His best pouring in...

As I abandon my striving...

And soak in the presence of His love.

After all... what He wants most...

Is for me to lie down before Him...

Making space for Him to climb in...

Right beside me.

The war against slavery...
It is still very much alive...
In my very own heart and...
In the hearts of His beloved church.
But the longing in my soul is...
Leading... to learning.
One still moment at a time...
I am fighting a new war...
One I pray...
Brings fresh revelations...
Of His loving kindness.

Experiencing....
The best strategy for wars of the soul...
Is often to be still.

practice the hard...

Charli most likely...

Will frequent this learning show.

Not because she is favored...
But because she has been my trickiest small to date.

As I continue pressing further deeper into the heart of Our King...
He faithfully and repetitively suggests...
"How about we start here...

With your very own family...
And some special attention focused on this Sassy Pants."

Ok...
So the Sassy Pants part was not exactly what I heard...
But the shoe does indeed fit.

As I talked with my oldest princesses during school today...
I reminded them of something...
Something the Spirit is also teaching me...

If we want to be sons and daughters of excellence...
We must choose to practice what is hard instead of clinging...
To that which is easy.

Charli is one of a kind...
God broke the mold with this one.

And... she is surely breaking me.
In all the best and hardest ways possible.

Today...
She added to her " frequent flyer points..."
Destination... "Time out."

After a few minutes...
I checked on her.
I asked...
"Charli, are you ready to be kind?"
"Would you like to get up?"
To both questions...
I got a firm, "NO," in the form of a head shake and a scowl.

I left her a bit longer.

Over and over I asked...

Always issuing the same response.
She did not want to be kind...
She did not want to be released.

I continued to offer her freedom from the steps of isolation...
She continued to decline.

I began to process...
How many times has my Good Daddy offered me new levels of freedom...
New opportunities for love to conquer the stubborn parts of my heart...
His hand extended welcoming me out of isolation...
And... blankly looking into his loving eyes...

I decline with a firm head shake...
"No thanks, I think I'll take the stairs instead."

No doubt Charli is a daily invitation...
To practice what is hard.
Very hard.

I'm not on this mission to become an expert of the easy...
I long to master the hard.
Thankfully... Jesus has appointed the best teacher I can think of...

A little monkey on my back named...
Charli.