weeds...

"Even a tree has more hope!  If it is cut down, it will sprout again, and its new shoots...
Will not fail."
Job 14:7

This has been a "spring" season for our family.

It has been beautiful.

And it has been painfully revealing.

I have become aware...
With all the new blooms...
Of how much pruning needs to be done in my personal story...
And, just how many wild plants still need to be dealt with in my life.

Some days it feels like buckets full.

In the life-long process of "de-weeding,"
I've invited the tender shoots from my own tree...
To learn from my mistakes...

Allowing them to help me...

Dig up that which can so quickly take over...

And prune back that which is overgrown...

A most humbling process.

But, I know...

All that is well tended in me...

Serves to bless them and their future families.

The thought that I am contending not only for my own wellness...
But also for the wellness of my children...
And their children's children...
Gives me EXTRA satisfaction...
As I rip the thorny weed-trees out of the ground.
It's like an act of declaration...
That the weeds in my life will not be passed down...
Into the Gardens of my growing ones.

I HATE weeds.
I love seeing the plans of their roots destroyed.
Maybe because I know...
That the weeding and pruning back...
Have generational benefits.

When our boys died and Charli wrestled to survive...
Control really germinated in me.
I lived in constant fear...
Tragedy had shaken me to my core...
The unknown was like a cloud of darkness that hovered everywhere I turned.
So... the very few things I could "control..."
I clinched my fist around with all my might.
I chose an illusion.
One providing me with a false sense of peace.
Allowing me to focus on the strength of my own legs to stand firm...

Instead of The Gardener.

He wants to pluck all of my illusions...

Dig up all the idols of "safe..."

Expose all lies... all fears... 

By the root...

He wants them tossed in the trash.

He alone is the solution for healthy soil.

I want all the beauty He wants to display through me...

To always point back to The One who planted me.

There's much weeding yet to be done in me.

I am still learning.

The ache of the pull will no doubt be messy...

As the lies and behaviors are uprooted.

And the healthy shoots are trimmed back.

But, I'll keep trusting The Gardener.

And, together... with the help of those who love me...

We'll haul those weeds and clippings off to the trash.

One bucket at a time.

For even this tree...

Has more HOPE and LOVE yet to bloom.